[12 May 2004|06:57pm] "Follow me to a beautiful somewhere, a place that I can share with you." -- Yellowcard x_apprehension  is my new journal. Please add me there if you should wish to be my friend.

041 [16 Apr 2004|04:41pm] [ mood | drained ] It's surprising to me that I'm so worried of getting into a good college when most of the time, the people that surround me are entirely...off.  I mean, seriously now.  These girls with their pretty hair, perfect skin, and zero brains walk around like they own the place.  Well girls, you may own high school, but you'll never make it to college.  :o)  So own whatever you can now, ladies.  Ah, if those girls led the political world in the future...well let's just say that it's better to die now than in the future. My week was fabulous.  I went to every class, and I slept or ate or did something not usually done.  And then I got my report card today.  Three A-'s and four A's.  Good stuff, good stuff.  I still think I could have done better had I handed in all my work on time.  Bleh.  Who the fuck gives a shit right about now?  So it's settled: I can get final grades of A's in every class no matter how I do in the fourth quarter.  It's so fucking good to have that guarantee on your shoulders... I must go now and eat something and get ready for practice.  I think I'm going to make myself a victory bowl of my favorite kind of pasta since we're having dinner around 9pm today.  I need something good to fill my stomach after that nasty ass school lunch!  :o)  Or maybe I'll have some leftover home cooking...who knows?!? Later kiddos!!

040 [12 Apr 2004|03:53pm] [ mood | relieved ] We made up again, and everything's alright.  :o) I don't write enough in here, and still you guys are just plain wonderful to me.  Thanks a bunch in advance for all the wonderful comments and lifter-uppers--you guys are amazing times forever and more.  <33  No really, you are. The last week was awesomeee.  This was the first weekend in a long time that didn't involve drumming.  Andrew and I went up to Norwalk to this thrift store his girlfriend works at and he bought the hat that I wanted.  And he spent all weekend emailing me pictures of himself looking all hot and stuff in the hat and whatnot.  His stupidass.  I'm going to steal that hat the next time I see him in it or something.  He's such a loser for npt buying me the hat anyways.  And then Saturday, my family decided on going to the Palisades Mall to celebrate a birthday--so I ate tons at Outback Steakhouse.  I'm getting fat, and I don't give a flying rat's ass about it.  When I got home, I got to look at pictures of Andrew again.  In the hat.  Because he's retarded.  And then Sunday was another family day.  I can't get enough of those, obviously.  We ate indian food.  Because we wanted tons of gas circulating our stomachs.  Mm-hm, yes we did.  :o)  It was maaadd good though, suckahs.  And then as I was doing homework yesterday, I received a phone call from Nick.  Because he's absolutely wonderful.  And we talked forever.  It felt good.  He said he's sorry for breaking up with me.  And he asked me out again.  I missed him--a lot--and I'm glad he missed me too.  It was meant to be, I tell you, meant to be.  It would have been perfect if Andrew didn't have to email me a picture of himself again...

039 [08 Apr 2004|06:51pm] [ mood | depressed ] The most wonderful things come out of the bad, but today I'm feeling especially depressed.  I don't know why because I was actually kind of happy.  I guess seeing my best friend hurt makes me want to cry for him.  I want to see him smile, even if it would take a thousand years of grief for me.  I want to make sure he's always okay.  I know he'd do it for me.  Oh man, I know that he would do it for me... ( A Letter To You ) January 28, 2004 to April 7, 2004.  <33  Wow.  That was quite the long time.

038 [07 Apr 2004|08:32pm] [ mood | drained ] Wow. It's been a long time. I owe this place a post. But today, I am extremely tired. I had to go to work AND practice. Ick. But driver's ed is almost over!! So this isn't really an update. I promise one tomorrow. Well, at least I'll try my best to come back tomorrow! ;o)

037 [30 Mar 2004|04:52pm] [ mood | cranky ] 10 Reasons to Love Him 1. The way he's always in my dreams. 2. The way he's always there when you need him. 3. The way he smells when he hugs me. 4. The way his eyes shine in the moonlight. 5. The way his voice comforts me wholly. 6. The way he makes everything seem good. 7. The way nothing shakes his confidence. 8. The way he jokes about love and relationships. 9. The way he thinks he's a pimp, but really, he's not. 10. The way he can warm me up with a smile. ( Okay then ) I luff you, Nick. :o)

036 [23 Mar 2004|05:03pm] [ mood | complacent ] Hey kiddos.  I'm actually watching American Idol right now.  I must admit though that I have not seen an episode since the first few auditions.  Those are the best ones -- all the horrible singers that make me laugh and whatnot.  Like William Hung, whom I still think is as horrible as he was.  I think ir's a pretty big joke that he got a record deal -- get me on that Idol show, dammit!  :o) I'm totally sad, you guys.  Because the drumming season is nearing an end soon.  Only two more weeks left!  Eh, noooo.  This season was way too much fun.  BUT I do get to start snare soon, which is utterly speechlessly amazing.  I always wanted to play snare and whatnot, you know?  It's like a...dream come true.  Hehehe.  Alright, enough about me drumming.  I think I have just about bored you guys enough about that topic, eh?  Sorry for that, folks! If I stare at the mirror long enough, I just might end up recognizing the girl I used to know, the girl I used to be -- the girl I want to never see again.

035 [19 Mar 2004|05:25pm] [ mood | bouncy ] I'm just oh so HAPPY right now, and I couldn't explain why.  I am in just such a wonderful mood.  Maybe it's because I just found out that tonight's practice is cancelled?  Or maybe it's because tomorrow is the truly amazing WGI regional I was talking about before?  Or maybe it's because...I'm in looove?  Hehe.  Either way, I'm just really content at the moment.  This week was awesome.  School on Monday, 1/2 day on Tuesday, 1/2 day on Wednesay, school on Thursday, and day off today because of the snow.  YAY!  It was almost a 2-day school week.  I got a 101 on my Civics test!  AND I think I did really well on my Chemistry test -- or I hope I did really well because it was really hard.  ;o)  Gosh, nothing got me down this week.  Except the stupid CAPT schedule.  I can't believe the sophomores have to suffer like this again.  Eh!  I hate school sometimes... Guess what, kiddos?!  I am moving on up to the snare drum.  :o)  Diane said I'm just untouchable on the bass drum!  Hahah.  Now I'm trying to be as modest as possible, you know?  But hey, i'm untouchable!  Maybe that has something to do with my happiness today! Alright, so I have to go and load the truck for tomorrow.  We're leaving for Pennsylvania at 8:30 in the morning and we won't be back home until 2:00 in the morning on Sunday.  Eh, loooooooooong bus ride.  Not to mention I have Hurricanes on Sunday and lotsa homework to complete.  But still, today has been quite a wonderful day!

034 [13 Mar 2004|06:38pm] [ mood | drunk ] You know when you get really drunk to the point where your eyes are shot? When you can no longer control how you feel? When you get drunk enough to fucking fall all over the place and still not give a damn? Yeah. That's how I feel right now. Mind you, I haven't taken a single sip of anything alcohol. I guess you can call me an Alcoholic Virgin? Hm, sounds great. But I'm insanely happy. Excited, to say the least. I feel like I had a thousand pounds of stress lifted off of me today. Or maybe I just thought of forgetting about everything. Whatever it is, it feels damn good. And I really hope it lasts. Next week is gonna kick fucking ass. Aside from that Chemistry test I'm gonna fail, Saturday is the next WGI Regional in Coateville, PA. We're gonna be fucking amazing. We got actors in our show to act it out. If you want to check out the music, go here. This is only a small portion of a ten-minute show. The show is called "Scenes from a Memory" and it's about a guy who gets hypnotized and finds out that he murdered his wife in a past life. It's intense. It's dark. It's the perfect show. And we're awesome at performing it. It takes place in the 1920s, so the drummers are dressed up as gangsters and the pit percussionists as flapper whores. Haha. They look so funny. But the drummers, we look hot. ;o) Though we are hot, so really. There was no way to hide that part. I'm sure that anyone of you guys who ever thought band was for nerds would love the drumline shows. If you ever get the chance to check out a WGI (that's Winter Guard International) regional, you'd better. It's fucking off the hook. The drumlines are sooo good, you wanna piss your pants. NO joke. It's amazing. Later kiddos.

030 [23 Feb 2004|03:44pm] [ mood | happy ] I had a good day today. I don't have much of those. Not lately at least. Despite the fact that vacation is over, and that I don't get another one for a whole seven weeks, I think I'll live. I already earned 12 of my 540 points in Civics this quarter. I haven't lost any yet! :o) My persuasive essay is absolutely horrible to the max. Like, I do not even want to hang that piece of shit in -- that's how bad I think it is! And them teachers are just piling that load of work up for the next seven weeks. Did I say I had a good day? I meant I had a horrible one! :o) Not to mention my schedule is ridiculously hectic until April. Icky icky icky. I hate being busy. Especially around my decline time -- SENIORITIS sophomore year! :o) Monday: Winter Drumline from 6 to 9. Tuesday: Driving School from 2:30 to 4:30. Wednesday: Work from 2:30 to 5; Winter Drumline from 6 to 9. Thursday: Driving School from 2:30 to 4:30. Friday: Work from 2:30 to 4. Wednesdays are going to be the most horrible every week until end of April. Oh man, I am just gonna freakin die. I cannot handle stress. I absolutely seriously cannot. Oh man. This day started off really good until I got to writing this entry. Haha. :o) I hope you guys had a better day than mine times a million, kiddos!!

029 [19 Feb 2004|11:01am] [ mood | sore ] My cousin and I played a good ol' rousing round of The Matching Cards Game.  I haven't played that since the 1st grade, when we used to have the cardboard cards with the farm animals on them.  Man, those were the days.  I love card games, really.  But today was the first day I picked up a deck of cards.  And immediately, it felt like I was back in my childhood.  :o)  It was amazing.  I need to get a new deck though.  My old one is bent, broken, and falling apart. ( I'm marrying this kid for sure. ) My back hurts.  And that scares me.  I know it's not because of the drum and harness -- I'm already used to the weight of that by now.  I can wear those in my sleep.  :o)  But I still don't know why it hurts.  All I know is that it does.  And whenever my back hurts, I get all scared over scoliosis and such.  God, it would suck to have a problem when I'm on such a ride right now.   ( Once Again, by Freewind ) Alright.  I know I haven't commented a lot of you guys.  And I know some of you have those FRIENDS CUT rules about commenting all the time and whatnot.  Frankly, I really haven't had the time to come on and stay on for a long while.  So if you must, cut me away.  It really wouldn't matter much to me right now.  I haven't felt very friendly in the past couple of days...

028 [17 Feb 2004|01:40pm] [ mood | mischievous ] My vacation has been quite the adventure so far. On Saturday, I went through a hellish eight hours of drumming and drill. But it was great. :o) We're almost finished with the whole show. And the music is sounding fucking awesome. Yesterday I was all over upstate Connecticut and such. My aunt's buying a new car. A new SUV really. Jeep Grand Cherokee in steel blue. It's fucking beautiful, I swear. I didn't get home until 8 yesterday night because she had to go to every dealer that ever existed on the east coast to buy a damned car. :o) And then I cannot really remember Sunday very well. It seems like I forgot all about it. I'm sorry I missed Meredith's Sweet Sixteen though! Happy Belated Birthday, Meredith! :o) I have another three hour practice tonight. Diane, the instructor, wants us to learn new drill. Outside. In the cold. She's nuts. I swear it. Hell, I swear it too much nowadays. :o) Later kiddos.

027 [13 Feb 2004|02:54pm] [ mood | groggy ] I'm just so happy because next week is a whole week off due to winter break! :o) It's vacationing time once again. Time to rest up. And I need it too. The teachers have been piling work up since the beginning of January. I still have a shitload of homework to do over the break though. I owe you guys a big thanks for participating in my 'speak anything' entry yesterday. I never knew so much about some of you guys, and I do have to say that I found a whole lot of respect for a majority of you. The fact that some of you can just say so much about yourself to me even though you don't know me is really something. You're the only I love this lj thing so much! <33 Some of you guys are really something special. And I truly hope you guys all have a wonderful Valentine's Day! I actually have practice from 10 to 6 tomorrow. :o) It's Valentine's Day and I don't get to see my love all day long. Haha. It's okay though. Because drumming is a second love of mine. And therefore I don't mind doing it on such a pretty pretty day. Even if the drummer boys are all gay and off. ;o) I swear they'd kill me if they read that! After four days of no updates, this is all I can give you. I can't keep my eyes open because I'm so tired right now. I was up until the wee hours of morning studying for the french and civics tests I took today! :o) Later kiddos. <33

026 [09 Feb 2004|04:49pm] [ mood | curious ] Hey you guys, I have a mission for you all! I want every one of you guys on my friends list (you know who you lovely people are!) to leave a comment telling me one thing about yourself that I haven't read in your journal. I don't know why you should do it, or what you should leave, but I say you should leave something. I want to get to know you guys - especially the people I don't know. You can even post it anonymous if you want. <33 I love each and every one of you for participating if you do. And if you don't, then poo on you. :o)

025 [06 Feb 2004|12:58pm] [ mood | tired ] Today was another snow day. Even though it's really raining. I was supposed to go to IHOP with the lovely Cara, Laura, and Parini -- but nope. The stupid weather ruined our glorious plans. Oh wells. ( Lookie Here! ) I'm not in a great mood right now. I guess I'll suffering from something. There was this girl who apparently doesn't understand the difference between real depression and just plain being annoying. I'm really getting tired of this town and everything. I wish there was a way to just pick up and move away somewhere. That way, I can have a new beginning, new town, and new people to look at. Because frankly, I really don't want to see anyone around here anymore. The Lovely Bones is a great book. I still have to do the project and write my essay for English though. And I have some Chemistry labs to do. And if that weren't enough, I have to schedule my classes for next year. I don't want to be a junior, because it's the most important year of your whole school career. Someone save me. Please?

024 [03 Feb 2004|08:15pm] [ mood | blank ] I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. It's like permanent emotional PMS damage or something. It's almost like when you know you're not very happy but you're always able to portray it well. Ah yes, I'll never stop the facades, will I? Hm. I don't know really. Don't get me wrong though - I'm not depressed nor suicidal. Nothing that extreme. I just don't know what it takes to make me happy. When I think I've found something that truly makes me feel good and real, it doesn't. Or it loses its touch. I don't know. I hope I'm not one of those people who get tired of things too quickly. Because that would make me one of those "never settling" people in life. I don't want to be that way, to be constantly searching for answers. I want to find a path I'm well headed into and that will finally bring me somewhere. Hell, something oughta just make me happy. And then let me stay happy. Forever. <33 You guys are darling. I must say. And for the ending piece to this entry, I'm extremely worried about the future sometimes. Especially when my parents and relatives bring up the fact that intelligent children, such as I, should receive huge grants and scholarships to huge private institutions. Oi. I'm not intelligent. Nor will I receive huge grants. I wish there was a way to break the news to the wonderful parental units...

023 [30 Jan 2004|01:49pm] [ mood | grumpy ] My hero's got a golden gun with golden bullets and a sweet taste of victory over me, darlings. I got a 73 on my Algebra midterm.  It feels like my teacher just fucked me up the ass or something.  The worst part being that there was an 8-point curve and I STILL got a bad grade.  Psh!  I fucking hate math, period.  This will make the rest of my report card look so fucking gay!  All A's and then one fucking C-.  My teacher should be shot for poor teaching skills! ( The Friday Five ) Whatever, kiddos.  I'm not going to let a stupid math exam ruin my day.  Because really, today was a pretty okay today.  Yesterday night at practice, I felt so important.  I taught my fellow bass drummer how to read the music AND I proved that the guy who is supposedly the BEST of the line was playing the part wrong.  :o)  GO ME, bebs.  Haha.  Yesterday night was definately my night or something.  Anyways, we have a LONG practice tomorrow.  It's from 9am to 6pm, and it's basically ALL MARCHING!  Gosh gosh gosh.  Tomorrow is going to be such a long-ass day.  But it'll be worth it in the end when we're champions.  Again.  Like we should be.  Forever.  Haha!

022 [28 Jan 2004|03:46pm] [ mood | bored ] C'est amusant pour savoir une autre langue parce que les gens qui ne parlent qu'anglais ne comprendent pas. C'est pourquoi je parle francais maintenant, parce que la majorite d'amies livejournal ne savent pas le francais. :o) I'm into my third year of French now. And I gotta tell you, it's way too much fun writing stuff people don't understand. And plus, it's a bit easier to translate Spanish and Italien too. I don't know -- but some of the roots are the same and such. :o) But whoever can figure out what that says at the top first will get...something. I dunno. I'm way bored right now. It's only 3:50pm and I have nothing to do. Ahh! Sometimes the lack of school is unnerving. Snow days are getting kinda old now. And the fact that they're thinking about taking our April vacation away sucks ASS! They better now. Or I'll call a strike. Become a revolutionary. Yes yes indeed, I will. :o) I'm reading The Lovely Bones for English right now. It's a good book. I recommend you go read it if you haven't or go read it again if you have already! ;o) It's such a sad but happy story, it's kinda weird. And the whole time, you just wanna punch Mr. Harvey for what he did and hug Susie's family to make them feel better again. It's amazing how books can mess with your mind sometimes. CONFESSION: I actually read 6 books in the last five months. I didn't even read 6 books in the past three years in total! :o) Oh man, I'm becoming a real nerd. Either that or I'm deathly afraid of my English teacher.

021 [27 Jan 2004|01:28pm] [ mood | nerdy ] Guess what kiddos? Not only did I get straight A's for my second quarter grades, BUT I got amazing midterm grades! :o) [Now really, I do not mean to brag! I'm just really excited! So hear me out.] I got a 94 on my Chemistry midterm; I got a 91 on my English midterm; and I got a 96 on my French 3 midterm. Fuck yes! I still don't know my World History midterm grade, which is definately an A as far as I can throw it, and I don't know my Algebra midterm grade yet -- which I'm hoping for a B or higher! PLEASE GOD! Haha. I heard they're thinking about a department curve of a few points, so I am REALLY hoping it works out! :o) ( Nadacris be stizylin' fuckahs ) Heh, what a funny quiz. Alright, I haven't updated in almost three days now, so I just wanted to come on and write something. We're expecting a lot of snow tonight. So hopefully school is cancelled tomorrow. :o) Pray for me. That way, I can get some of the work done. We're just so overloaded right now.

020 [23 Jan 2004|05:27pm] [ mood | lethargic ] Dear wonderful lj readers, Recommend to me: (1) a movie to watch, (2) a book to read, and (3) an lj user not on my friends list. <33 Nadia I came home at 9:30 in the morning today. :o) Sometimes midterms rock. Especially when they're as easy as my french midterm. That's the first and only A I'm probably getting. So far I got all my quarter grades. I got straight A's. BIG SURPRISE! Haha. I swear I'm not conceited; I'm just overly confident all the time. :o) I download a data CD of 141 songs. Thank God my CD players can play ANYTHING and everything. Haha. I can download 500 songs onto one CD -- how awesome is that?! Anyways, I'm just happy it's finally the weekends. I'm not doing much as of right now. Woot woot. BUT, I do have one more midterm left. GUESS WHAT?! I never have to take gym ever again! Now I can become the fat, lazy fucker I've always wanted to be! Very nice, very nice. :o)

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